”Here is the text of Saddam Hussein's speach broadcast on Iraqi television today after the attacks began“
"In 1424 of the Hijra calender (Muslim calender),” Only a few more years until they discover America…oh wait…I guess 1492 was, well, yesterday.
”the reckless criminal little Bush and his accomplices committed his crime, which he had threatended (sic) Iraq and humanity with.” ‘Accomplices’? Oh, you mean the United Kingdom, Australia, Japan, and the other 30+ countries…
”He carried out his criminal act with those who cooperated with him and has added with his accomplices to the series of shameless crimes against Iraq and humanity a beginning of additional crimes.” Didn’t you just say this? It’s amazing, to me at least, that all the anti-war myrmidons insist on calling this an American unilateral attack, yet even Saddam, remember him, continuously mentions those who are fighting alongside the US. By the way, which PR flack told Saddam that mentioning ‘Iraq and humanity’ together repeatedly would help sway public opinion?
”Oh Iraqis and brave men in our nation. For your sake, the sake of our glorious nation, the sake of the banners of jihad and its (nation) religion, precious values, family and children.” Ah, poetry. Can I try too? Here’s one:
Is interrupted by bombs
There once was a man from Baghdad
Who thought ‘criminal little Bush’ was bad
All the bombs were falling
Even though the French were stalling
And the man from Baghdad was sad
And, just out of curiousity, did Saddam really just say that the ‘religion’ and ‘precious values’ of ‘family and children’ should be ‘jihad’?
”I don't want to repeat what should be and what must be done to defend the dear nation and everything that is sacred” But, I assume you’ll do it anyway?
”but I will say:” I just knew you would
”Each one of us in the family of the faithful, patient, oppressed Iraq by its evil enemies must remember and not forget that these days will add to earning you the glory you deserve before God.” Some sooner than others I’d imagine.
”May the infidels, the enemies of God and humanity be shamed.” See, now this is an interesting statement. Think about it. He’s literally saying that the enemies of God and humanity should be shamed. But he doesn’t actually say, in this one statement, that the enemies of God and humanity are the coalition forces. He’s literally leaving it up to God to decide who the enemies of God are. Of course, that’s not really his intent…
”You will be victorious, Oh Iraqis, and with you the sons of your nation. By God's will your (sic) will be victorious and your enemies will be ashamed and dishonored, God willing.” See, not his intent. Bad speechwriter, bad. Not only that, but he used the word ‘will’ and ‘willing’ four times in one sentence. Of course, it probably sounded better in the original German, I mean Arabic.
One spitting dictator is pretty much the same as any other.
”Oh brave men, opposers of evil in the world.” Yes? I’m sorry, are you speaking to us?
”You have noticed how the reckless Bush made light of your positions and opinions against the war and your honest call for peace and committed his terrible crime today.” Oh, you’re speaking to the French. Well, they’re not going to hear you if you don’t address them properly. Here, let me reword this for you: “Oh impotent weasels, appeasers of evil in the world.” See, much better, now they’ll know who you’re addressing.
”I pledge to you, in the name of the Iraqi leadership and the Iraqi people that Iraq will carry out jihad with the heroic army in the Iraq of civilization, history and belief; we will fight the invaders and drive them, God willing, to the extent by which they will lose their patience and lose their way in achieving what the criminal zionists.” I thought the ninth circuit had ruled the pledge to be unconstitutional?
Notice he doesn’t actually say that ‘the heroic army’ will drive ‘the invaders’ out of Iraq, but merely to the end of ‘their patience’? Well, damn, he’s already done that. We ran out of patience and, see, we invaded. ‘Lose (our) way’? I don’t think so, we have GPS.
”They --who have carried on with their crimes and evil acts -- will suffer the defeat that every jealous faithful and lover of humanity... wishes for them.” You keep using that word, to quote The Princess Bride, and I do not think it means what you think it means. I looked it up. Nowhere in the dictionary does ‘defeat’ mean ‘victory.’ Perhaps that’s another bad translation. Let me reword that for you:
‘They—who have finally lost patience with my crimes and evil acts—will enjoy the victory that every impotent weasel… fears will mean the loss of all of their oil contracts which have made them all reich, I mean rich.’ Much better, that way, again, people will know whom you’re talking about.
”Iraq will be victorious, and with Iraq, our nation and humanity will be victorious and the evil will be hit to the extent that it will no longer be able to carry out crimes and will hit by what the American-zionist criminal alliance committed against nations and peoples, mainly our glorious Arab nation.” Finally, he said something not just factually accurate but actually worth repeating: ‘humanity will be victorious.’ Repeat after me: ‘humanity will be victorious.’ Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?
”Allahu Akbarm Allahu Akbar (God is great). Long live Iraq and Palestine. Long live our glorious nation and the lovers of peace, security and the right of people to live freely on the basis of justice. Long live jihad. long live Palestine.” When did Palestine get promoted? ‘Long live Iraq and Palestine’? These are ‘the lovers of peace, security and the right of people to live freely on the basis of justice’? Do words actually mean what I thought they mean any longer? And then, he ends it with ‘Long live Palestine’? Not ‘Long live Iraq’ but, knowing that his time is through, wishing for ‘jihad’ and ‘Palestine’ to continue on in his name? Apparently that $25,000.00 check per suicide bomber was buying more than we knew.
‘Humanity will be victorious.’
Indeed, it will.
UPDATE: Corrected the typo in the title, sheepishly.
:: Peter 3/20/2003 10:43:00 AM [+] ::
For my 25th birthday the US government, and the people of America, gave me President Bill Clinton on Nov. 3, 1992. To make up for that gift, I guess, on my 4th wedding anniversary, yesterday, the US government gave me a war on Iraq. A much better present.
"President Bush and French President Jacques Chirac may not be phone pals anymore, but that didn't stop Chirac from discussing Saddam Hussein, the war in Iraq, and other serious issues with another famous American: Jerry Lewis.
Except it turns out that the man who had a five-minute phone conversation with Chirac last week wasn't Lewis, but rather a Los Angeles DJ impersonating the comedian. A source at KROQ 106.7 confirms that ''Kevin and Bean Show'' entertainment reporter Ralph Garman got through to Chirac by claiming to be France's most loved American funnyman..."
That's so freaking beautiful, on so many levels, that I think I'm going to cry.
I said 'I do', repeated the vows and kissed the bride.
Actually, the day started with me running over a concrete barrier in a Publix parking lot, continued with a farce as we tried to locate one of the groomsmen (my uncle, delayed by Delta (or whatever airline it was, but 'delayed by Delta' sounds better than 'un-early by United' don't you think?)) and then there was the 'how do I place a veil on her head' since that was never practiced before the Rabbi asked me to do so. And who could forget when I walked down the aisle and, despite repeated instructions from Anna prior to the event, walked to the wrong side of her and had to circle around?
To be honest, I have few real memories of the ceremony. Or of the reception. Or of much of anything from that day. Oh, I listen to Anna or others tell their stories. And I laugh and nod, knowingly, of course, but really, it's all a blur.
Everything but 'I do.'
And the vows.
And, of course, the kiss.
Happy anniversary, sweetheart. I love you...equally.
:: Peter 3/19/2003 01:26:00 PM [+] ::
:: Monday, March 17, 2003 ::
For those keeping track: Still no word from NAWO.
:: Peter 3/17/2003 04:29:00 PM [+] ::