Not really sure where this originated, so if you know please let me know so I can give credit. This was emailed to me (and, I assume, to everyone else as well) but it's worth repeating:
If the Passover Story Were Reported by
The New York Times, CNN or the LA Times
by Daniel P. Waxman
The cycle of violence between the Jews and the Egyptians continues with no end in sight in Egypt. After eight previous plagues that have destroyed the Egyptian infrastructure and disrupted the lives of ordinary Egyptian citizens, the Jews launched a new offensive this
week in the form of the plague of darkness.
Western journalists were particularly enraged by this plague. "It is simply impossible to report when you can't see an inch in front of you," complained a frustrated Andrea Koppel of CNN. "I have heard from my reliable Egyptian contacts that in the midst of the blanket of blackness, the Jews were annihilating thousands of Egyptians. Their word is solid enough evidence for me."
While the Jews contend that the plagues are justified given the harsh slavery imposed upon them by the Egyptians, Pharaoh, the Egyptian leader, rebuts this claim. "If only the plagues would let up, there would be no slavery. We just want to live plague-free. It is the right of every society."
Saeb Erekat, an Egyptian spokesperson, complains that slavery is justifiable given the Jews' superior weaponry supplied to them by the superpower God.
The Europeans are particularly enraged by the latest Jewish offensive. "The Jewish aggression must cease if there is to be peace in the region. The Jews should go back to slavery for the good of the rest of the world," stated an angry French President Jacques Chirac.
Even several Jews agree. Adam Shapiro, a Jew, has barricaded himself within Pharaoh's chambers to protect Pharaoh from what is feared will be the next plague, the death of the firstborn. Mr. Shapiro claims that while slavery is not necessarily a good thing, it is the product of the plagues and when the plagues end, so will the slavery. "The Jews have gone too far with plagues such as locusts and epidemic which have virtually destroyed the Egyptian economy," Mr. Shapiro laments. "The Egyptians are really a very nice people and Pharaoh is kind of huggable once you get to know him," gushes Shapiro.
The United States is demanding that Moses and Aaron, the Jewish leaders, continue to negotiate with Pharaoh. While Moses points out that Pharaoh had made promise after promise to free the Jewish people only to immediately break them and thereafter impose harsher and harsher slavery, Richard Boucher of the State Department assails the latest offensive. "Pharaoh is not in complete control of the taskmasters," Mr. Boucher states. "The Jews must return to the negotiating table and will accomplish nothing through these plagues."
The latest round of violence comes in the face of a bold new Saudi peace overture. If only the Jews will give up their language, change their names to Egyptian names and cease having male children, the Arab nations will incline toward peace with them, Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah declared.
It's official, no one remembers the truth. We all (well, a lot of people anyway) saw the Academy Awards. Hell, there's probably thousands of people with the show on videotape or Tivo.
Michael Moore was booed. Lustily booed. Loudly booed. Every single human being with functional ears heard this. It's on tape. It's history. It's a simple fact. Should he have been booed? Should he not have been booed? That's not what I'm discussing, all I'm discussing is the simple fact that the man was booed. Watch the tape.
Why bring this up? Because, Michael Moore claims that only a few people were booing, and that they weren't booing him they were booing the few people who were booing him.
Fine. That's his story and he's sticking to it. Why bring this up again?
Because, it appears that his version of the story is actually becoming the 'truth' of the matter.
In this MSN Entertainment article, the last item deals with Moore fan Susan Sarandon:
At the recent Oscar ceremonies Michael Moore definitely got his point across that he is not a fan of President Bush. And while a few folks in the audience (mostly in the balcony area) did not appreciate his pushing-the-envelope style, many applauded him for his bold scolding of the main man in the White House.
One such fan was Susan Sarandon, who has herself been criticized for speaking out against the war and the foreign policies of George W. According to TV Guide Online, those who want the 56-year-old actress to just be quiet include the Baseball Hall of Fame, which just canceled a 15th anniversary celebration of Bull Durham, and the United Way, which dropped her as keynote speaker at a volunteerism event held in Florida.
When asked what she thought of Mr. Moore's public bashing of Bush, Susan replied, "I love Michael and I loved what he did. I thought it was totally in keeping with who he was. The anti-war cause has many different voices that can express themselves in many different ways. It's not exactly like standing up at someone's wedding and stopping the bride and groom from getting married. It really is just the Academy Awards ... Here's a man that got an Academy Award for having an opinion -- why shouldn't he have an opinion when he's standing there [accepting it]?"
Should Bull Durham have been cancelled? No. Not just no, hell no. But did you catch all of that in the first paragraph?
And while a few folks in the audience (mostly in the balcony area) did not appreciate his pushing-the-envelope style, many applauded him for his bold scolding of the main man in the White House.
First there's the 'few' then there's the '(mostly in the balcony area)', then, just to seal the point, there's the 'many applauded him'. Well, obviously 'many' is more than 'few' so, obviously, if you didn't see the actual event, you now know that only a few, 'lower class' individuals disagreed with Michael Moore. Simple. Obvious. Even if the truth is there for everyone to see.
Hey, Jim, woulnd't this be treason? From Jim Walker's letter to the Arab News:
Use Your Imagination
Isn’t there an economist (sic) journalist among you? The US economy is in shambles, and the dollar has never been more vulnerable. Why aren’t you talking about the power of euros for oil, gold dinars for trade, the sale of all US stocks and bonds that Arabian countries own? You aren’t using your imagination.
Jim Walker, United States published 14 April 2003
Here, Jim, use your imagination:
You live in America. You have the right to be stupid in public. You're free to write and say as you please.
Imagine, though, for a moment, you lived in (oh, let's say) Cairo. What do you think would happen, Jim, if you, as an Egyptian citizen, spoke out against the government?
Please let us know your next of kin so we know whom to contact. Thanks.