"Historic day today – big day in history. Earlier this afternoon, President Bush became the first president to land on an aircraft carrier riding in a jet. He landed in a jet on the Abraham Lincoln. You know, the last time a president landed on something that big. He got impeached."
Oh, you have to admit, that's funny.
:: Peter 5/02/2003 08:44:00 AM [+] ::
Well, in Iraq they have the infamous deck of cards with pictures of the Iraqi regime. Here, I present the Bowling Pins of Idiotarians. I'm clueless with photoshop so for the moment this'll be text until I can figure out how to make images work:
The 1 Pin: Michael Moore (and hey, he doesn't even need image cropping, he already looks like a bowling pin).
The 2 Pin: Natalie Maines (Ok, she's been beat up enough for her silly comment, but this way, when the Bowling Ball of Reality smacks into Michael Moore she'll be able to cushion his fall. And really, what a way for her to go...)
The 3 Pin: Howard Dean (as, really, a representative of the entire class of current Democratic hopefuls)
The 4 Pin: Robert Fisk (for providing the world a brand new verb. How often, really, is a new verb created?)
The 5 Pin: Sean Penn (as, really, a representative of the entire class of celebrity spokespeople. It was a close call between him and Tim Robbins, but at least Tim Robbins didn't spend time in Iraq last year).
The 6 and 7 Pin: Jim McDermot and David Bonior (the Milli Vanilli of US politicians...every single person who voted for them should be as embarassed as the Grammy voters who gave Milli Vanilli 'Best New Artist'. By the way, Bonior is now running for Governor. Really.)
The 8 Pin: Dan Rather (as, really, a representative of the entire class of talking heads)
The 9 Pin: Kofi Annan (as, really, a representative of the entire UN, which is taking up prime real estate in the great state of NY)
The 10 Pin: Adam Shapiro (as, really, a representative of the entire class of brain-washed idiotarians willing to act as human shields, either physically or verbally. This particular link for Pin #10, by the way, is to an article which calls him a 'Mideast hero.' Really.)
When's the beer frame?
:: Peter 4/30/2003 02:28:00 PM [+] ::
We know now the date of Joshua's surgery. It seems so 'REAL' now. As though the protective coating of 'surreal' has withered away leaving only 'REAL' behind.
"DEAR ABBY: My mom and dad think I have ADD and so does my fourth-grade teacher. Both my sisters, my baby sitter and cousin all believe that I don't have ADD. Who should I believe, Abby? -- MIXED-UP 9-YEAR-OLD GIRL
DEAR MIXED-UP: Your parents should have you tested, and then you'll ALL know for sure if you have attention deficit disorder (ADD). It's always best to get the facts. As your letter proves, guessing only causes needless anxiety."
As though there's a blood test that has 'results' which come back 'positive' or 'negative' for childhood?
Let's see: authority figures (those who are supposed to 'parent', 'teach', and 'discipline') think you're ADD. Sisters, babysitter (hey, apparently an authority figure that knows how to 'parent', 'teach', and 'discipline') and cousin think you're fine. Why do I still get the sinking feeling you'll be drugged by the end of the week?
Napster is dead. Every other attempt is either spam ridden or seriously deficient in anything worth downloading. Common sense repeatedly says that it's a simple proposition: Provide cheap, fast, quality QUANTITY and you'll 1) make money 2) make more money by finding new audiences 3) make even more money by new audiences introducing newer audiences to the music.
Leave it to Steve Jobs, however, to actually convince the record companies that it's not only doable, that it's profitable. this has the potential to be huge, to revolutionize an industry (or, at least, to drag the kicking and screaming into the 21st century).
Apple Computer and major record labels are expected to launch an online music subscription service within several weeks, entertainment industry sources said.
Should be available for Windows by the end of the year. As a bonus, it should sell a lot of iPods.
The Arab News has done everyone a favor. They've said, in simple terms, exactly who supports Arafat. Wasn't that nice of them?
However, Arafat has his supporters. The European Commission has rebuffed the US call to shun him, saying the European Union would talk to whomever it wanted to. Its stand is that who it contacts or who it doesn’t is its business alone. In the bigger picture, the row over sidelining Arafat has prompted the European Union to insist that its role in the Middle East is no less important than that of the United States. It is adamant that the United States does not have sole ownership of the road map. Although quite frequently it is said that this is America’s road map, it is not the property of one country. It is the road map of the Quartet. And it is one which needs Arafat if it is to be implemented. Arafat remains president of the Palestinians and, notwithstanding a new prime minister, his legitimacy as leader remains undiminished. He remains the political and moral authority of the Palestinian people and neither the United States nor Israel can change that.