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:: Wednesday, July 02, 2003 ::

Well....yes....




:: Peter 7/02/2003 08:46:00 AM [+] ::
...

Neal Boortz



Usually I just link to NealzNuze but his World Net Daily column today is worth reading as well.

"But, before you finish reading, one quote from the Irish Writer St. John Ervine for you to consider: "Every man ... should periodically be compelled to listen to opinions which are infuriating to him. To hear nothing but what is pleasing to one is to make a pillow of the mind.""
:: Peter 7/02/2003 08:44:00 AM [+] ::
...
:: Tuesday, July 01, 2003 ::

Speechless...



A paragraph to numb the senses, words so outrageous in their disconnect from reality that it causes brain cells to actually disintegrate.

"Yahya Al-Bishri denied here yesterday that he has exploited the martyrdom of the Palestinian boy Muhammad Al-Durra to further his international career as a Saudi fashion designer."

Yes, that's right. Somehow, someway, I guess I should have seen this coming. Not just that there's a Saudi fashion designer, but that he's apparently "exploited the martyrdom of the Palestinian boy Muhammad Al-Durra "

But wait, as they say, there's more:

"The uproar began when Al-Bishri designed a dress featuring bloodstains, an Israeli tank and a picture of Muhammad Al-Durra. Al-Bishri said that he had dedicated the dress to the children of the intifada."

Woo boy. That's a good one. As Michael Moore would say.

"Speaking in Jeddah before his departure for Paris, where his annual fashion show will be held on July 8, he said that he was not using the Palestinian cause or the martyrdom of Al-Durra to advance his career by generating publicity."

1) It's in Paris. Is anyone surprised? It's in freaking Paris.
2) Publicity? Perish the thought?

"Yesterday, Al-Durra’s father, Jamal, who was wounded while trying to shield his son, wept at the site that was off-limits to Palestinians for 33 months until Israel withdrew forces in a disengagement deal required by a new Middle East peace plan.
Accompanied by six of his seven children, Jamal, 38, brought along a white pillow smeared with Al-Durra’s dried blood and stitched with the words: “A witness to the crime of the Zionist entity.”"


There's a pillow? He had a pillow with him? Let's completely ignore the fact that he couldn't possibly have been shot by the IDF.

Let's concentrate on the pillow. Can we DNA test that thing?

"He announced that within the next few months he would open the first fashion house in the Middle East for both men and women."

'My, that's a mighty fashionable FULL COVERING BLACK SACK you're wearing today.'

'Thank you, I like your FULL COVERING BLACK SACK, too. Is that the latest Yahya Al-Bishri?'

"Al-Bishri came into the spotlight in the mid-80s when he designed an Arab gown for Britain’s Princess Diana."


But what really made me wonder, especially about the PR machinations of the PA is the second paragraph:

"He was speaking on the day the father of the Gaza boy, whose killing in 2000 became a symbol of the Palestinian uprising, laid flowers at the roadside spot where he died after Israel pulled forces out of the area. Mohammed, 12, was martyred at a junction on Gaza’s main highway in 2000."

Why yesterday? It wasn't an anniversary of anything, was it? It was just a day. A day like any other. So why would he be laying flowers there unless it was for the publicity of this hideously ugly dress?

And the dress? You wanna see the dress?



But read that second paragraph again, I don't think they meant to say what they actually said.

"He was speaking on the day the father of the Gaza boy, whose killing in 2000 became a symbol of the Palestinian uprising, laid flowers at the roadside spot where he died after Israel pulled forces out of the area. Mohammed, 12, was martyred at a junction on Gaza’s main highway in 2000."

Do you think they really meant to say that Muhammad Al-Durra, martyrdom-boy of the Palestinians, actually "died after Israel pulled forces out of the area"? AFTER?

Did they say AFTER?

AFTER?

They said AFTER.

Well, if Muhammad Al-Durra, martyrdom-boy of the Palestinians died AFTER Israel pulled forces out of the area, then who shot Muhammad Al-Durra, martyrdom-boy of the Palestinians?





:: Peter 7/01/2003 11:09:00 AM [+] ::
...
:: Monday, June 30, 2003 ::

Duckies!



Short mini-registration, but worth the moment. This is a sweet little ducky story.

And we love Ducky!


:: Peter 6/30/2003 04:26:00 PM [+] ::
...

Neal Boortz



Can anyone verify this really happened? This is priceless:

Ann Coulter was being questioned by the other denizens of The View. One of the ladies asked Ann (why, I don’t know) if she had ever seen two women having sex. Her answer: “Not since I saw Katie Couric interview Hillary Clinton. That was the last time.”
:: Peter 6/30/2003 03:11:00 PM [+] ::
...

Reason #54287987691 Why America Is Great



Create a need no one knew existed, then invent a product to fill that need. What could be simpler?

But, really, does anyone actually really need this thing?

Besides, of course, Lorena Bobbit?

:: Peter 6/30/2003 02:37:00 PM [+] ::
...

Letter to Michael Moore



Not sure if you've seen this but on Thursday of last week Michael Moore wrote a 'letter' to our President:

"I Never Promised You a Ruse Garden -- A Letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush
June 26, 2003
Dear Lt. George W. Bush,
I hope you don't mind me referring to you by the only true military rank you ever achieved, that being the one from your on-again, off-again "days" in the, um, Texas Air National Guard. Ever since I saw you in that flyboy outfit, landing on that ship, I assumed you now wanted to be addressed by your military title, as opposed to the civilian rank imposed on you by your dad's friends.
So, Lieutenant, I was wondering, would you do me a favor?
Could you PLEASE do better than a ROSE BUSH?
I saw the guy on TV yesterday that your boys found, the Iraqi who said he had "planted" some nuclear plans in his "back yard" in Baghdad -- 12 years ago -- "under a rose bush."
Woo boy. That's a good one. Do you really think we are as dumb as we look? I know our fascination with "American Idol" and Scott Peterson may make us Americans look a little light in the head, but when it comes to lying to us to lead us into war, we really do demand a bit more of an EFFORT and a FOLLOW-THROUGH.
You see, George, it's not the lying and the doctoring of intelligence that has me all upset. It's that you've had control of Iraq for over two months now -- and you couldn't even find the time to plant just a few nukes or vats of nerve gas and at least make it LOOK like you weren't lying to us.
You see, by not faking some evidence of weapons of mass destruction, it shows that you thought no one would mind if it turned out you made everything up. A different kind of president, who believes that the American public would be outraged if they ever found out the truth, would go to great lengths to cover up his subterfuge.
Johnson did it with the Gulf of Tonkin. He said our ships were "attacked" by the North Vietnamese. They weren't, but he knew he had to at least make it LOOK like it happened. Nixon said he wasn't "a crook," but he knew that wasn't enough, so he paid hush money to the burglars and somehow had 18 1/2 minutes erased from a tape in the Oval Office. Why did he do this? Because he knew the American people would be pissed if they found out the truth.
Your blatant refusal to back up your verbal deception with the kind of fake evidence we have become used to is a slap in our collective American face. It's as if you are saying, "These Americans are so damn apathetic and lazy, we won't have to produce any weapons to back up our claims!" If you had just dug a few silo holes in the last month outside Tikrit, or spread some anthrax around those Winnebagos near Basra, or "discovered" some plutonium with that stash of home movies of Uday Hussein feeding his tigers, then it would have said to us that you thought we might revolt if you were caught in a lie. It would have shown us some *respect*. We honestly wouldn't have cared if it later came out that you planted all the WMD -- sure, we'd be properly peeved, but at least we would have been proud to know that you knew you HAD to back up your phony claims with the real deal!
I guess you finally figured that out this week. It started to appear that millions of us were calling you on your bluff -- those "fictitious reasons for the fictitious war." So you quickly produced this man and his rose bush and some 12-year old piece of paper and some metal parts. CNN broke in at 5:15pm and screamed they had the exclusive! "IRAQI NUCLEAR PLANS FOUND!" But a few good reporters started asking some hard questions -- and, barely 3 hours later, your own administration was forced to admit the plans were "not the smoking gun” proving that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction.
Oops.
Never a good idea to rely on a bush, Lieutenant.
Yours,
Michael Moore
PS. Sorry, I still can't get that padded flyboy suit out of my head. I know, I need help. But when you landed on that carrier, and that banner read, "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED," just what mission was that that was accomplished? 'Cause by my count, more than 50 of our young soldiers have died since you said the mission was accomplished. Anarchy still reigns, the Brits are losing kids, too, and wacko fundamentalists now seem to ready to rule the land. Women are already being told to cover their face and shut their mouths, store owners who sell liquor have been executed, and movie theaters showing "immoral" Hollywood movies have been forced to shut down. And hey, this isn't even west Texas! Maybe you could get back into that jumpsuit, fly over to Baghdad and land at the former Saddam International Airport, jump out and give one of those big happy waves -- under a sign that reads, "MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.""


So, in the interest of saving our President some time, I have decided to write back.

Dear Fatso,

I hope you don’t mind me referring to you by the only true military rank you ever achieved, that being the one from your on-again, on-again “days” in the, um, kitchen. Ever since I even for a moment thought of you in that flyboy outfit, squeezed in the way a butcher shoves meat into a sausage casing, the size of that ship, I assumed you now wanted to be addressed as Fatso, King Of The Ding-Dongs. So, Fatso, King Of The Ding-Dongs (or would you prefer Lord of the Ho-Hos?), I was wondering, would you do me a favor? Could you PLEASE do better than a RUSE BUSH? Is that the height of your pun powers?
Woo boy. That’s a good one. Do I really think you’re as dumb as you look? Woo boy. That’s a good one.
Personally I voted for Clay.
Effort and follow-through? Let me see if I understand you, here. See, listening to you makes me a little light in the head and I just want to make sure I understand you completely. You’re upset because I’m unwilling to lie to support my beliefs. Is that correct? Did you really just state that you’re upset that the truth disappoints you and you’d rather I lie to you?

Just for your sake I’ll try, here’s goes: “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.” Woo boy. That’s a good one. Oh, wait, I didn’t have sexual relations with her. That was someone else who said that lie.

Woo boy. That’s a good one.

”A different kind of president, who believes that the American public would be outraged if they ever found out the truth, would go to great lengths to cover up his subterfuge.”

I don’t want to be that kind of President you insufferable blowhole. I have no interest, no desire, and no need to cover up anything. Not only did I not have sexual relations with Miss Lewinsky, I’m not the Crown Prince of Twinkieville. I don’t think Americans are apathetic or lazy, I think they deserve the truth, no matter what the truth, no matter when the truth. Never a good idea to rely on a bush? Woo boy. That’s a good one. See, it’s a play on words, get it? You’re so smart. I’d never heard that before. Woo boy. That’s a good one.

PS: Sorry, I still can’t that flyboy suit out of my head, especially since there’s no padding, it’s all freaking you. One big fat weiner landing on a carrier. Sort of like Bill and Monica there I guess. I know, you do need help. But the first step to a cure is to admit you have a problem, so I’m very proud of you to see you ask for help. So, with your best interests in mind: Weight Watchers.

Maybe then you could fit in the jumpsuit, fly over Baghdad and land at the former Saddam International Airport, jump out and give one of those big happy waves. Then explain to the former inmates of Saddam’s children’s prison and all the family members only now finding the graves of their loved ones and all the people tortured by the Baathist regime why you’re so upset. Woo boy. That’s a good one.

:: Peter 6/30/2003 09:14:00 AM [+] ::
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